Quote of the Day

Don't Be Sentimental. Be Realistic.

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Whenever people say we mustn't be sentimental, you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And if they add, we must be realistic, it means they are going to make money out of it."

- Brigid Brophy, British writer

An Ole Joke

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

I just got off the phone with Ole who lives in northern North Dakota near the Canadian border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Almost Never, Anyway

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
- Ron Atkinson

Poverty in the NBA

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Guys aren't able to get $15 or $20 million anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game."
- Penny Hardaway

Accusers, Maybe

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"I deny the allegations and I defy the alligators!"

212 Years

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old."
- Herb Score, Sportscaster

Political Math

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."
- Everett Dirksen, Congressman

How Old?

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

100 Points

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win."
- Doug Collins

Brainpower Needed

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Lack of brains hinders research."
- Columbus Dispatch, Headline

Terrible for Winfield, Especially

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!"
- Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer

It's Not Pollution

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

Nothing Serious

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, boxer

The Value of Money

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"A nickel ain't worth a dime any more."
- Yogi Berra

Fear the Lybians

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"The Lybian army is capable of destroying America and breaking its nose."
- Muammar Qaddafi, Libyian President

Statistical Analysis

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate."
- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

Attached

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch."
- Bill Clinton

Life Changing

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, 'Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
- Barbara Boxer, Senator

Never Apologize

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 08:01:00 +0000

"I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am."
- Homer J. Simpson

Wait. What's the Service, Again?

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 08:01:00 +0000

"CREATIVE TOUCH THERAPY: Alleviate stress, muscle tension, improve circulation, encourage overall well-being. Techniques meet your needs."
- classified ad in the Rock River Times

Trusting Men

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 08:01:00 +0000

"Stop trusting in a man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?"
- Isaiah 2:22

Lies

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 08:01:00 +0000

"He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it easier to do it a second time."
- Thomas Jefferson

Are Brains Important?

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 08:01:00 +0000

"The first testicular guard, the 'Cup,' was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974 That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important."

Rulers

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 08:01:00 +0000

"You're the President of the United States, and I'm the Emperor of Uranus!"

Learn to Dance

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Lyons) — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 08:01:00 +0000

"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom."
- Bob Hope