Saturday, January 29, 2011

Don't Be Sentimental. Be Realistic.

"Whenever people say we mustn't be sentimental, you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And if they add, we must be realistic, it means they are going to make money out of it."
 - Brigid Brophy, British writer

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

An Ole Joke

I just got off the phone with Ole who lives in northern North Dakota near the Canadian border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Almost Never, Anyway

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
- Ron Atkinson

Monday, January 24, 2011

Poverty in the NBA

"Guys aren't able to get $15 or $20 million anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game."
- Penny Hardaway

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Accusers, Maybe

"I deny the allegations and I defy the alligators!"

Saturday, January 22, 2011

212 Years

"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old."
- Herb Score, Sportscaster

Friday, January 21, 2011

Political Math

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."
- Everett Dirksen, Congressman

Thursday, January 20, 2011

How Old?

"And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

100 Points

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win."
- Doug Collins

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Brainpower Needed

"Lack of brains hinders research."
- Columbus Dispatch, Headline

Monday, January 17, 2011

Terrible for Winfield, Especially

"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!"
- Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer

Sunday, January 16, 2011

It's Not Pollution

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Nothing Serious

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, boxer

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Value of Money

"A nickel ain't worth a dime any more."
- Yogi Berra

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fear the Lybians

"The Lybian army is capable of destroying America and breaking its nose."
- Muammar Qaddafi, Libyian President

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Statistical Analysis

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate."
- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


"I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch."
- Bill Clinton

Monday, January 10, 2011

Life Changing

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, 'Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
 - Barbara Boxer, Senator

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Never Apologize

"I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am."
 - Homer J. Simpson