Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Wait. What's the Service, Again?

"CREATIVE TOUCH THERAPY: Alleviate stress, muscle tension, improve circulation, encourage overall well-being.  Techniques meet your needs."
- classified ad in the Rock River Times

Monday, November 29, 2010

Trusting Men

"Stop trusting in a man, who has but a breath in his nostrils.  Of what account is he?"
 - Isaiah 2:22

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Lies

"He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it easier to do it a second time."
- Thomas Jefferson

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Are Brains Important?

"The first testicular guard, the 'Cup,' was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974 That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important."

Monday, November 15, 2010

Rulers

"You're the President of the United States, and I'm the Emperor of Uranus!"

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Learn to Dance

"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom."
- Bob Hope

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Your Own Oxen

"Plow your land with the oxen you have."
 - Spanish proverb

Friday, November 12, 2010

What's It Like?

CHARLES BARKLEY
What's it like to have fewer championship rings than Jack Haley?

- Steve Rosenbloom, Chicago Tribune, July 2, 1996

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Productivity

"John Wesley traveled 250,000 miles on horseback, averaging twenty miles a day for forty years; preached 4,000 sermons; produced 400 books; knew ten languages.  At eighty-three he was annoyed that he could not write more than fifteen hours a day without hurting his eyes, and at eighty-six he was ashamed he could not preach more than twice a day.  He complained in his diary that there was an increasing desire to lie in bed until 5:30 in the morning."

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Cheerful

"I went to see Major General Harrison hung, drawn, and quartered.  He was looking as cheerful as any man could in that condition."
 - Samuel Pepys

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Poem to Milk

Dear sweet milk,
I miss you the most.
I bought almond milk to replace you,
And it was really gross.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Stop Arguing

"Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Greed

"It would be wrong to let them keep the money if we can take it from them."

Friday, November 5, 2010

Remember the 5th of November

"Remember, remember the 5th of November. The gunpowder, treason, and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot."
 - V, V for Vendetta

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Baby Names

"My daughter just suggested we name the baby 'Glasshole.'"
 - Tim Young

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Understatement

“Certainly, anything that creates jobs is exciting for this area.”
 - Steve Clark, as quoted by the Rockford Register Star

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Reason

"The reason NBA players complain about the officiating is the same reason Jon Stewart gave it to Larry King for pillorying CNN: It’s terrible."
 - Kevin Hench, FoxSports.com

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Security v. Liberty

"Most people want security in this world, not liberty."
- H. L. Mencken

Friday, October 29, 2010

Dog Eat Dog

"It's a dog-eat-dog world, and we're wearing Milk Bone underwear."

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I'll Help

"I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Hardest Thing

"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else."

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Leadership

"Until they follow you’re just a dude waving his hands and saying some words."
 - Adam McLane

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Losers

"Even the losers get lucky sometimes."
- Tom Petty

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Ultimate Collection of Gold Digger Quotes

In 2008, I submitted a Quote of the Day titled "Gold Digger."  In the two years since, this entry has become the single-most popular entry on the site by a long shot.  Obviously, the post hit something that people were looking for.  Well, I'm going to give the people what they want.

This blog is here for people who Google "gold digger quotes," which apparently happens a lot.  Most of them are unattributed because, well, I have no idea who came up with this stuff.  I sure didn't.  I'm not that bitter, nor that clever.  Some of them are admittedly out-dated, and some of them blur the line (if that's possible) between gold digger and plain old-fashioned hooker.  They're still here.  Deal with it.


Here is the Ultimate Collection of Gold Digger Quotes.

"A couple were having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!'  The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.'"

"A fellow said he would go through anything for her, so she started right off with his bank account."

"A fellow starts out by calling her 'Sugar' and winds up a sad saccharine."

"A fellow's love letters are her jilt-edge securities."

"A guy never knows the worth of her love until she sues him for breach of promise."

"A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man!"

"After a guy has spent all of his dollars, she recovers her sense."

"All she looks for in a man is brown eyes and green money."

"Her idea of a romantic setting is one with a diamond in it."

"Her hobby is collecting romantic antiques--rich old geezers."

"Her motto is: 'Dough or die.'"

"Her motto is: 'Every man for myself.'"

"Her motto is: 'Think--Mink!"

"If you spoon around with her you have to fork over."

"In her estimation, a man doesn't have to be much if he has much."

"It's hard to figure what she would have found attractive about men if she had lived before money was invented."

"It's not too difficult to find her.  Just open your wallet, and there she is!"

"It's the little things about a husband that she likes, like small penthouses, small yachts, small racing stables, and small life expectancies."

"It's the thought--not the gift--that counts with her, and the bigger it is the more it counts."

"Magic is her hobby--like getting mink off an old goat."

"Men call her 'Sugar' and wind up paying her a lump sum."

"Men of means are worth her wiles."

“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”

“No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.”
- Cesare Pavese

"Once she gets a guy on the spot, she takes him to the cleaners."

"She brings out the animal in men--mink."

"She buys spring clothes in the middle of the winter for summer romances with fall guys."

"She doesn't talk all the time.  Sometimes she listens--when money talks."

"She doesn't believe in love blindfolded--she wants it bill-folded."

"She doesn't especially care for a man's company unless he owns it."

"She doesn't mind if a man doesn't fit the bill, so long as he foots it."

"She doesn't mind men who love her and leave her, provided they leave her enough."

"She doesn't mind whose means she lives beyond."

"She dresses on credit, but she'll only undress for cash."

"She drops in occasionally to take his wallet for a walk."

"She falls in love at purse sight."

"She gets a grand and glorious feeling when a fellow makes love to her--especially a grand."

"She gets her mind by being like a fox and playing cat-and-mouse with a wolf."

"She hails from the corn belt, but all she's interested in now is the money belt.

"She has a million-dollar smile.  She only smiles at guys with a million dollars."

"She has a split personality.  Any time she finds a man with money, she's willing to split it with him."

"She has been tried and found wanting everything money can buy her."

"She has great sympathy for a lonely man who needs someone to share a bank account with him."

"She knows how to stay in the mink of condition."

"She likes a guy whose conversation sparkles--with things like emeralds, rubies, diamonds, and sapphires."

"She likes men who go for stocks and bonds and put their stock in blondes."

"She likes men who, when they look at her, make dollar signs run up and down her spine."

"She loves a man for all he's worth--after he passes the assets test."

"She loves a man for his money up to a certain point--the decimal point."

"She may be good for nothing, but she's never bad for nothing."

"She may get married someday.  She's just waiting for the right amount to come along."

"She measures a man's love by the carat."

"She meets a wolf at the door and appears the next day in a fur coat."

"She met a man who had more money than he knew what to do with.  Now she has had it--and he's had it."

"She never kisses a man with beer on his breath--it has to be champagne."

"She never sells herself for cash--she takes checks, stocks, bonds, and shares in oil wells."

"She once married a guy for money.  She divorced him for the same reason."

"She paints the town red with a guy with a bankroll--she gives him the brush when it's gone."

"She prefers men who go for the refined things in life--like oil."

"She prefers men who have something tender about them--legal tender."

"She scoffs at the idea of going to a psychiatrist.  Why should she lie down on a man's couch, and then pay him?"

"She speaks only in money-syllables."

"She spells 'Matrimony' 'Matter-o' money.'"

"She sure has the gift of grab."

"She sure knows how to mine her own business, especially where diamonds are concerned."

"She takes everything that a guy can buy; then she takes another guy."

"She took her last three husbands not for better or worse, but for good."

"She'll go out with every Tom, Dick, and Harry, provided they bring jack along."

"She's a girl with a past, and the only way to figure in her future is with a present."

"She's going around with an eccentric rich guy who's really cracked; but she doesn't mind, so long as he isn't broke."

"She's a good listener--when money talks."

"She's a great after-dinner speaker.  When she speaks to a man, she's after dinner."

"She's a human gimme-pig."

"She's a vegetarian.  She only goes out with men with plenty of lettuce."

"She's always ready to go out for a little fund."

"She's climbing the ladder of success lad by lad and wrong by wrong."

"She's getting along  fine--by lips and bonds."

"She's going out with a sugar daddy.  He met her thirty-five checks ago."

"She's looking for a generous man--one she can take to, and from."

"She's looking for a rich guy to make her dreams come through."

"She's looking for a rich man who wants to take her away from it all.  Then she'll take it all away from him."

"She loves everything about America--the people of America, the songs of America, the Bank of America."

"She's the cream in a guy's coffee as long as he has plenty of sugar."

"She's the one exception to the law of gravity.  It's easier to pick her up than to drop her."

"She's working at loving--for a living."

"Since her latest boyfriend met her, he can't eat, he can't sleep and he can't drink.  He's broke."

"So far as men are concerned, she can take them or leave them.  After she takes them, she leaves them."

"Some girls frame the first dollar they ever made.  She framed the first man."

"Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did."
 - Henny Youngman

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
 - Brendon Francis

"The only love nest she's interested in is an eight-room apartment feathered with cash down."

"The only man she'll go out with is one who is tall, dark, and has some."

"The only thing she's ever been taken in by is a girdle."

"The two faces of a coin decides a woman’s mind. Heads, they go for money. Tails, they go for money."

"There are three ways of losing money: racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, and farming the most certain."
 - Lord Amherst

"There isn't a man who can pin anything on her not made of diamonds , or hang anything on her not made of pearls."

"We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops."

"What she looks for in a man is fiscal fitness."

"When a guy goes out with her, he may have his head in the clouds, but she has her hand in his pocket."

"When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the experience winds up with the money and the person with the money winds up with the experience."
- Harvey MacKay 

"When it comes to men she prefers the strong, solvent type."

"When she threatens to tell a guy's wife, the furs really fly."

"When money stops talking, she starts walking."

"Whenever she sued for breach of promise she was calm--and collected."

"With her, romance starts with sentiment and ends with a settlement."
 
"Women are like banks, they take every cent you got and give you very little interest."

"Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind."
- Kay Ingram

"You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
 - Henny Youngman  

Don't Bask, Don't Smell

"Pentagon study shows prolonged sunbathing in full uniform creates odor issues. May institute "Don't Bask, Don't Smell" regulations."
 - Pat Sajak

Friday, October 22, 2010

Celebrity Questions

"Working on new Wheel category: Celebrity Question. Ex: Is Martin Short? Can Bonnie Hunt? Does William Hurt? Does Bobby Flay? Is Marvin Gaye?"
 - Pat Sajak

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Romance

"Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Missing the Apocalypse

"A new critique argues the accepted conversions of dates from the Mayan to the modern calendar may be off by as much as 50 to 100 years, throwing in doubt that the world will end on Dec. 12, 2012."
- FoxNews.com

Monday, October 18, 2010

Happy Boss's Day

"...wishes a happy Boss's Day (observed) to all her bossy friends and family."
- Trish O'Brien

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Favre Texts

"As it turns out, those texts from Brett Favre were ACTUALLY intended for his wife Deanna... But like everything he sends, they were intercepted."

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Lost In Translation

"Do I get paid for that?"
"Yeah, exactly."

No, seriously.  I want to know if I'm getting paid or not.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Activist Pacifist

"It's funny how most activists are pacifists."
- Craig Bruce

Monday, October 11, 2010

Confounding the Wise

"Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce."
 - Lord Byron

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Live Wisely

"If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one."

Saturday, October 9, 2010

What is Sleep?

"I am finding sleep is really just a symptom of caffeine deprivation..."
 - Kent Wold

Friday, October 8, 2010

Can't Live Without

"If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?"

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I've Failed

"I've missed more than nine thousand shots in my career.  I've lost almost three hundred games.  Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.  I've failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed."
 - Michael Jordan

Monday, September 27, 2010

Two-Horse Rodeo

"Objectively, we still don't know if the Bears are that good or if the Cowboys are prone to disarray because coach Wade Phillips struggles organizing a two-horse rodeo."
 - David Haugh, Chicago Tribune

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Throwing It Away

"In the past, Cutler has been more prone to throw the ball at a defender than at a sideline cameraman."
 - Dan Pompei, Chicago Tribune Sports

In Chicago, when a quarterback learns to throw the ball away, we call it progress.  Hooray for progress.

Friday, September 24, 2010

5-7 & Going to a Bowl Game

"Sure, a bowl game between a 5-7 team and a 7-5 team won’t be a big cash cow in the same way an eight-year-old in a sneaker factory can’t be expected to match her mom’s productivity. But when you’re not paying the labor, it would just be bad business not to open as many factories as possible."
- Kevin Hench @ FoxSports.com

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Green Bay? Eww.

"I got a call from Reggie White and he asked me to sign with the Packers. I told him I just could never put on a Green Bay uniform. I hated Green Bay and I could never wear their colors."
 - Richard Dent

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A Word From My Mail Carrier

(monotone)
"Don't let this face fool you.  I really do care."

Friday, September 3, 2010

Piece of Cake

"Following Jesus is a piece of cake when it remains some abstract concept in your mind. It's when you actually act on it that it gets tough."
 - Tim Young

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Better Make it HO

"We've only got three minutes.  We'd better make it 'HO.'"

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Friday, July 16, 2010

I Had a Show

"I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account."
- Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Judgment Day

"The scriptures assure me that at the last day we shall not be examined on what we thought but what we did."
- Benjamin Franklin

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Choose Your Ruler

"Man will ultimately be governed by God or by tyrants."
- Benjamin Franklin

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Rebellion

"Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God."
- Benjamin Franklin

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Adversity

"Aromatic plants bestow no spicy fragrance while they grow; but crush'd or trodden to the ground, diffuse their balmy sweets around."
- Oliver Goldsmith

Friday, May 7, 2010

Marriage

"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
- Anonymous

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Success

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."
- Vince Lombardi

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Climb

"There is no use whatsoever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he is willing to climb himself."
- Andrew Carnegie

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Monday, May 3, 2010

Stupidity

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."
- Robert Heinlein

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Honest Criticism

"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."
— Franklin P. Jones

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

That's Quiet

"It was so quiet, you could hear the paint drying on the wall."
- Fred Smith Sr.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Calm & Lucid Woman

"She was as calm as she was lucid, which is to say not at all."

Monday, April 26, 2010

Self-Evaluation

"When a man is getting worse, he understands his own badness less and less. A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is all right."
- C.S. Lewis

Sunday, April 25, 2010

How to Live

"Would you live with ease? Do what you ought, not what you please."
- Benjamin Franklin

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Favorite Chores

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
- Erma Bombeck

Friday, April 23, 2010

Be Kind

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
- Plato

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Soccer

"If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms."
- Mike Ditka

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Self-Confidence

"I have great faith in fools. My friends call it self-confidence."
- Edgar Allan Poe

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Truth, Freedom, Knowledge

"I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant."
- H.L. Mencken

Monday, April 19, 2010

Counterfeit

"In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it, thou art a fool."
- Rabbi Ben Azai

Sunday, April 18, 2010

When Life Ends

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Martin Luther King

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Greatest Happiness

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits."
- Thomas Jefferson

Friday, April 16, 2010

We May Fail

"The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just."
- Abraham Lincoln

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Tax Day

"To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury."
- Benjamin Tucker

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Plans

"People know you for what you've done, not for what you plan to do."
- unknown

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Softest Pillow

"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience."
- French Proverb

Monday, April 12, 2010

Use Yourself

"Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself."
- Bernard Shaw

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Pursuit

"Every calling is great when greatly pursued."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Attitude

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
- John Homer Miller

Friday, April 9, 2010

Self-Made

"It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it."
- Sophocles

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Eye-Opening

"Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener."
- Pauline Thomason

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Judge or Love

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
- Mother Teresa

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Poverty

"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor."
- Seneca

Monday, April 5, 2010

Wisdom

"Everyone is wise until he speaks."
- Irish Proverb

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Royal Family

"I have never said I am against the monarchy. I think they are a harmless, rather odd little family."
- George W. Bush

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Writing for Myself

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."
— Cyril Connolly

Friday, April 2, 2010

They Laughed at Him

"They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."
— Carl Sagan

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Secret of Life

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made."
— Groucho Marx

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Open Mind

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
— Aristotle

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Equal Opportunity

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it."
— Clarence Darrow

Monday, March 29, 2010

Genius with Humility

"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left."
— Oscar Levant

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Do It

"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."
— John Ruskin

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Watch It

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."
— Lao-Tze

Friday, March 26, 2010

Habits

"We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."
— Aristotle

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Intimacy Problem

"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me."
— Garry Shandling

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wealth

"The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least."
— Unknown

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

You Can Do It

"You can do anything, but not everything."
— David Allen

Monday, March 22, 2010

Accomplishment

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."
— Harry Truman

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Opposites

"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth."
— Niels Bohr

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Immortality

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
— Susan Erz

Friday, March 19, 2010

Latine

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur."
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
— Unknown

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Gift to the World

"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself."
— Wallace Wattles

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Be Yourself

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tomorrow is Busy

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week."
— Spanish Proverb

Monday, March 15, 2010

Adjust

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
— William Arthur Ward

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Me Not So Smart

"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
— Albert Einstein

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Present and Ignored

"The voice of reason is always present and ignored when pulling off something impossibly cool."
- Adam McLane

Friday, March 12, 2010

Wiping Tears

"She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook."
- Tommy Manville

Thursday, March 11, 2010

GO

"Go away. I'm all right."
- H.G. Wells's last words

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Fight for Right

"If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without blood shed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves."
- Winston Churchill

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Functional Delusion

"Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keeps her from drowning them at birth."
- Robert Heinlein

Monday, March 8, 2010

Do It Yourself

"Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself."
- Thomas Jefferson

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Permanent Help

"You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves."
 - Abraham Lincoln

Saturday, March 6, 2010

I Get Back Up

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up."
 - Vince Lombardi

Friday, March 5, 2010

Poison

Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Winston Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Inconsiderate

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base."
- Dave Barry

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Forgive

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
- John F. Kennedy

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

War & Peace

"To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace."
- George Washington

Monday, March 1, 2010

Expectations

"We tend to get what we expect."
- Norman Vincent Peale

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Good Judgment

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."
- Will Rogers

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Humility

"Don't be so humble; you are not that great."
- Golda Meir

Friday, February 26, 2010

Resist Evil

"I became convinced that noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Remember

"It is, in a way, an odd thing to honor those who died in defense of our country, in defense of us, in wars far away. The imagination plays a trick. We see these soldiers in our mind as old and wise. We see them as something like the Founding Fathers, grave and gray-haired. But most of them were boys when they died, and they gave up two lives—the one they were living and the one they would have lived. When they died, they gave up their chance to be husbands and fathers and grandfathers. They gave up their chance to be revered old men. They gave up everything for our country, for us. And all we can do is remember."
- Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sing

"Those who wish to sing always find a song."
- Swedish proverb

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Chosen People

"The Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation. If I were an atheist, and believed blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations."
- John Adams

Monday, February 22, 2010

Tax Reform

"Here’s my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can’t, he doesn’t."
- Dave Barry

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Life

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
- Winston Churchill

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Weddings & Funerals

"Have you ever wondered why it takes a bride months and months to plan a wedding, but a good funeral can be pulled together in two days? The elements are all the same—church, minister, music, flowers, guests, food."
- Lori Rispoli

Friday, February 19, 2010

Winning Arguments

"The best way I know to win an argument is to start by being in the right."
- Lord Halishan

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ten Types of People

"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t."
- ThinkGeek.com

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Key to Failure

"I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
- Bill Cosby

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Get Married

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher."
- Socrates

Monday, February 15, 2010

Drunken Mess

Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Winston Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Risk

"If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more."
- Erica Jong

Saturday, February 13, 2010

One Big Step

"Don’t be afraid to take a big step when one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small steps."
- David Lloyd George

Friday, February 12, 2010

Enemies

"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
- Winston Churchill

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Avoid Criticism

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."
- Elbert Hubbard

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Bombing Begins

"My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes."
- Ronald Reagan

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Imagination and Humor

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
- Francis Bacon

Monday, February 8, 2010

Stand

"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."
- Thomas Jefferson

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Resolve

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing."
 - Abraham Lincoln

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Loser

"You lose."
- Calvin Coolidge, to a newspaper reporter who bet him he could make him say three words

Friday, February 5, 2010

Getting Done

"When all is said and done, as a rule, more is said than done."
- Lou Holtz

Thursday, February 4, 2010

What Is Love?

“'Love' is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
- Robert A. Heinlein

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Except Weight

"There are no gains without pains."
- Benjamin Franklin

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

We're Watching

"Whenever you do a thing, though it can never be known but to yourself, ask yourself how you would act were all the world looking at you, and act accordingly."
- Thomas Jefferson

Monday, February 1, 2010

Believe

"Believe that you are defeated, believe it long enough, and it is likely to become a fact."
- Norman Vincent Peale

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Do More

" Always do more than is required of you."
- George S. Patton, Jr.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Dancing

"No sane man will dance."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Friday, January 29, 2010

Comparisons

"Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people."
- Nido Qubein

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Infinitely More

"A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle."
- Kahlil Gibran

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Popularity

"If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew."
- Albert Einstein

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fail Better

"I try. I fail. I try again. I fail better."
- Samuel Beckett

Monday, January 25, 2010

Knowing Everything

"A wise man never knows all; only fools know everything."

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Love Your Children

"We will have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us."
- Golda Meir

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Farming

"Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Friday, January 22, 2010

Forecast of Rain

"The time to repair a roof is when the sun is shining."
- John F. Kennedy

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Keep Fighting

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
- Margaret Thatcher

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Obcessed?

"Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject."
- Shelby Metcalf, Texas A&M basketball coach, to a player who received four F’s and a D

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Responsibility

"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."
- Voltaire

Monday, January 18, 2010

Be Good At It

"Whatever you are, be a good one."
- Abraham Lincoln

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Share the Decade

"It is fun being in the same decade with you."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt, in a letter to Winston Churchill

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Becoming Picasso

"My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.' Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso."
- Pablo Picasso

Friday, January 15, 2010

No Pity

"Natural laws have no pity."
- Robert Heinlein

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Shut It

"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."
- Will Rogers

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Rise Up

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him."
- Booker T. Washington

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Hang On

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Monday, January 11, 2010

Almighty Dollar

"Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder."
- George Washington

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Love Your Neighbor

"Love your neighbor - but don't pull down your hedge."
- Ben Franklin

Saturday, January 9, 2010

What I Do

"As I grow older I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do."
- Andrew Carnegie

Friday, January 8, 2010

Most Valuable Talent

"The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do."
- Thomas Jefferson

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Tell the Truth

"No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar."
- Abraham Lincoln

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Excellence

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."
 - Vince Lombardi

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Sweeping Streets

"If a man is called to be a street-sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, 'Here lived a great street-sweeper who did his job well.'"
 - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Fools are Right

"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes."
 - Winston Churchill

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Children Today

"Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers."
 - Socrates

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Persevere

"I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
  - Thomas Edison

Friday, January 1, 2010

Consequences

"He who lives by the sword dies by the sword."
 - Jesus