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Here's a link for some more Quotes of the Day.

Thanks, friends!

Call Me

"When you're ready to compromise, call me."

Time

"Time is a great teacher. It also happens to kill each of its students."

Oldest Professions

"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
Ronald Reagan

Can't You Tell???

"Don't I look like I've lost weight? I haven't."

Caustic Sarcastic

"I've been violently hemorrhaging sarcasm ever since I learned the skill."

Manners, Please

"The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any."

Lessons Learned

"Don’t turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season."

White Folks = Mess

"We used to call it ragtime, then blues, then jazz. Now, it’s swing. Ha! Ha! White folks yo’all sho is a mess. Ha! Ha! Swing!"

Louis Armstrong (to Bing Crosby)

Public Service

"The public has always expected me to be a playboy, and a decent chap never lets his public down."

Shut It

"Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

Incredible!

"I thought the Hulk was coming for me. In slow mo."

Happiness

"I want you to be happy, so long as it's with someone else."