Sunday, September 13, 2009

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Call Me

"When you're ready to compromise, call me."

Friday, September 11, 2009


"Time is a great teacher. It also happens to kill each of its students."

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Oldest Professions

"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Can't You Tell???

"Don't I look like I've lost weight? I haven't."

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Caustic Sarcastic

"I've been violently hemorrhaging sarcasm ever since I learned the skill."

Monday, September 7, 2009

Manners, Please

"The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any."

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Lessons Learned

"Don’t turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season."

Saturday, September 5, 2009

White Folks = Mess

"We used to call it ragtime, then blues, then jazz. Now, it’s swing. Ha! Ha! White folks yo’all sho is a mess. Ha! Ha! Swing!"

Louis Armstrong (to Bing Crosby)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Public Service

"The public has always expected me to be a playboy, and a decent chap never lets his public down."

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Shut It

"Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


"I thought the Hulk was coming for me. In slow mo."

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


"I want you to be happy, so long as it's with someone else."