Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Monday, September 29, 2008

Religious Differences

"If she should ever change her faith, it'll be because she no longer thinks she's god."

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Gold Digger

"She measures a man's love by the carat."


Editor's note.  Due to the popularity of this entry, The Show has assembled the Ultimate Collection of Gold Digger Quotes.  Check it out!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Jabba the Golfer

"He's too fat to play golf. If he puts the ball where he can hit it, he can't see it, and if he puts it where he can see it, he can't hit it."

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

Baaaa!

"It looks like there's two sheep fighting in her pants!"

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Chicken Lover

"I did that chicken."
I don't know what is harder to believe--that it was said, or that no one even laughed at it.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Horrible!

"I don't try to be horrible... that's just who I am."
- response to "You're horrible!"

Monday, September 8, 2008

Letter to God

Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
- Neil

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Catching Up

"What a small world! Look at you! You're so fat!"

Friday, September 5, 2008

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Modern Business

"He got his principal entirely without principle."

Sorry, that might be a little advanced for those of you in Pecatonica. ;)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Your Full Potential

"What if, at this very moment, you are living up to your full potential?"

Monday, September 1, 2008

Two Evils

"This election is like choosing between Herod and Pontius Pilate."