Monday, May 26, 2008

24 hours

“I’ve only got 24 hours to live, and I’m not gonna spend it here!”
- a fly in A Bug's Life

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Wedding Simile

"Weddings are like automobiles. Pretty much everybody has one or two, but I'm still not convinced it's good for the environment."

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Hooray for College

"My degree enabled me to begin my career path four years later than my peers! Look, I'm still here on the bottom rung! Woooooo! Thanks, college!"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


"Take my affability and congeniality by faith."
Dr. David Larsen

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

God's Plan

"Mark Jackson told Peter Vecsey that coaching the Knicks was not in God's plan. 'He's looking out for me,' said Jackson. Now it's not for me to question matters divine, but shouldn't God have been paying a little less attention to the Knicks' coaching search and a little more to Myanmar?"

Mark Kriegel,
Not sure I like the tone, but it seems like a fair question.

Monday, May 12, 2008

New York Knicks

"Not only are the Knicks known to shoot themselves in the foot, they often crouch down to get a better aim."
- columnist Brian McGunigle

Thank God for small favors.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Bible Knowledge

"Does anybody know the name of Noah's wife?"
"Uh, Joan of Arc?"

Saturday, May 10, 2008


"Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?' and then it hits me."

Monday, May 5, 2008

It's Right

"Your mother is right! Listen to what it says."
Peter Griffin, The Family Guy, after Lois tells Chris that women aren't objects

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Friday, May 2, 2008

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Alternative Weight Loss

"I lost ten pounds of self-esteem."

    It just goes to show you that solutions are only limited by one's own creativity.