Friday, December 21, 2007

Smart Alec

Her: "What are you trying to say? That I'm fat?"
Him: "What are you trying to say? That you're not?"

Honorable Mention

This conversation could have totally been the Quote of the Day, but the honor has already been taken. It's totally worth sharing anyway.

Me: "Did you see the blog today?"
Future POTUS: "Nope. There is a new one today?"
Me: "Ype. Real good, but short."
Future POTUS: "Yeah, that's what she said!"

Friday, December 7, 2007

Most Believable Drunk Line Ever

"She told me if I took all my clothes off she'd give me a hundred dollars if I took all my clothes off."

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Happy Old Fart

"He's keeping a young mistress. He knows at his age it may be fatal, but he says he doesn't know a better way to die."

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

So Easy

"There's nothing complex about her--anyone can grasp her."

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Dating on the Cheap

"Looking at the high prices on the restaurant menu, he says to his date, 'What'll you have, my plump doll?'"

Monday, December 3, 2007

Special Kind of Stupid

"He heard about a movie in which a hunter shot an elephant in his pajamas. He says it's silly--what would an elephant be doing in pajamas?"

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Truth Hurts

Denver Nuggets guard J.R. Smith was asked if he preferred "love" or "money."

"Money. Because love can hurt you. Money never hurts you."

For the love of money.

Saturday, December 1, 2007


"She's so thin, she could walk through a harp."