Friday, November 30, 2007

Broke

"His wallet is always full of big bills--all unpaid."

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Nice to Meet You

"The next time you'll meet anyone like him, it will have to be in a nightmare."

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Unlucky in Love

"This is his second marriage. He's been unlucky in both--his first wife left him and this one won't."

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Psycho

"He's getting a jacket for his birthday--the strait kind."

Monday, November 26, 2007

Good to be Careful

"He heard that hard work never killed anybody, but he's taking no chances on being its first victim."

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Ouch

"We thought we'd show this so Giants fans could see what a completed pass looks like."

Okay, I might not have gotten that quite right, but that was the jist of it. Anyway, the dig at Eli Manning is what really counts here.

P.S. I liked the Sunday Night Football song better when Pink sang it. BTW, she's got some funny music videos on her web site.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Remember Bin Laden is Still Out There

"Suck it, Osama!"
Martha Stewart (impersonator) on Saturday Night Live

Friday, November 9, 2007

Perfectly Stated

"You do not need the woman for you to become a great man, and as a great man you do not need the woman."
John Eldredge

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Dare Greatly

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly...who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat."
Teddy Roosevelt

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

An Interesting View of Prison

"That's the University where you go with nothing and come out with an Advanced Degree in Methamphetamine."

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Never Say Die

"Old professors never die--they simply lose their faculties. Old preachers never die--they just never reach their conclusion."

Monday, November 5, 2007

Hello Newman

"I've got two minutes to kill, so tell me everything you know."

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Ugh

"He is very class-conscious. He has no class and everyone is conscious of it."

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Idiot

"His trouble is in trying to run large-scale operations with a small-scale mind."

Friday, November 2, 2007

Nice Guy

"He'd cry over your wounds just to get salt in them."

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Stupidity is not a Crime

"If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?"
Will Rogers